Friday, November 8, 2013

Meh...

I woke up yesterday afternoon feeling pretty grumpy/sad/depressed/etc.  I had a hard time shaking the mood too.  Perhaps it was because I woke up in a little bit of pain in my lower belly or perhaps I had a crummy dream that I can't recall now or maybe it was the weather, I donno.  I do know that I spent the better part of the evening, before having to leave for work, wishing the feeling would leave and not come back.

I began to ponder whether people who've been clinically diagnosed as depressed ever get over it or get past it.  Which then made me wonder if I've just been living with the depression I was diagnosed with so many years ago.

I know that as time passes my body and its chemistry changes so I won't/don't/can't feel the ways I did when I was younger still, I can't help but recall how it felt to be depressed when I was a teenager.  I compare that to how I feel today and I know it's not the same but that's not to say that I'm not still depressed but feeling it differently because I'm older now.  It begs the question, have I been depressed for so long that I've become accustomed to the feeling and can't tell "normal" feeling from depression unless the depression deepens tremendously?  Does that even make sense?
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